The day was dark and I found my self alone on the path by the river. In fact I saw no one out during my hour and a half walk.  The raindrops felt like tears in my heart. Then I stopped to be present with this rose bush and its raindrops.

One of my favorite practices is to stop, look and listen, instead of rushing and passing by the miracles around me. I find that when I really get still, drop my agendas and lean into the present moment, I get clarity and ease. In the spaciousness that happens I open to something new and walk away with such gratitude, peace and profound joy.

I recognized the softness of the water, and the tender flow of rain. I felt this through my whole being and gave thanks for the reminder to soften and flow, and to release my desire for control. Just to be present here and now, and to respond with love to uncertainty and chaos.

“Nature’s Promise,” Kittery Point Maine, photo by Susan 3/21/2020

Ten years ago our daughter Cada was lying in a hospital bed hooked up to every life support possible. She had the rarest case of anthrax.

One night Cada was surrounded by nurses and doctors who were trying to get her extreme hypotension (crashing blood pressure) under control. We were told that she would not make it through the night. This was the second time that we had been told such a thing. The first was at our local hospital, when her doctor looked at us dejectedly and said that there was nothing they could do and that Cada would not make it through the night. Luckily, it was still early afternoon, and with a quick meeting of specialists and finally an open bed at Mass General, she was out of there!  We got her to MGH with hopes of a miracle. It was all quite surreal.

So there we were at MGH. The plaque as you enter the Medical Intensive Care Unit says that family is welcome here. More than welcomed, we were considered integral to the team of care and we all worked together to save our daughter’s life. Several weeks into Cada’s ICU stay came that night when we were told again, “We are so sorry but …..”

Holy shit! What? We are here at one of the best hospitals in the world and they are telling us again that our daughter would not make it through the night. Could this really be happening?

One nurse told me that there are times when you just have to let go. Yup, but this was no time for letting go!  However, it was a time for surrendering to the present moment. There is a big difference.  We surrendered, accepting, and feeling the crisis we were in. We prayed, asking for a greater force and power of love to be with us, guide us and nourish us. Our family, including me, our son and my husband, stood in the hall holding hands and embracing Cada’s spirit that emanated from her crowded hospital room. We surrendered to what was, to a higher power, universal love and the highest good. Then our son began drawing Cada’s organs clear & healthy. And we all began a list of how we envisioned Cada living in the future. I had posted a picture of her dancing, so that the medical professionals would know this woman as vibrant and alive. We called our loved ones and friends for support, and we hugged and held each other in spirit in her room that night. And with Grace a miracle happened. One of the doctors had gone home and much later called and said, “I’ve got an idea, I’m coming back in”.  She and the pulmonary specialist worked with Cada’s ventilator, figuring out how to get oxygen to her lungs. Through love, dedication, caring, and great skill and action a shift happened!

Days, weeks, months even a year later Cada continued to recover. She is now alive, vibrant, loving and living well. I thank God, our friends, our family and our daughter’s strong will and spirit. I thank the nurses, doctors, technicians and staff for their tremendous dedication. By the way, the nurse who suggested I let go, became one of our strongest allies. We are so appreciative of the medical providers’ vigilant watch, long hours of care, loving kindness, and the respect, dignity and worth given to us as a family.

Now, today, we are ALL in the new reality of Covid -19 together.

May we accept and surrender to the present moments.
May the lives of medical professionals, food workers, government leaders and all others working to help us, be held safely in love.
May their hands be blessed.
May we hold faith.
May we trust in a brighter future.
May we be kind and generous to one another.
May we treat each other with respect.

God bless us all, each and every one of us.
No exceptions!

With light, love and blessings,
Susan